Beier Counseling Services
|Posted on March 1, 2015 at 7:35 PM|
The one thing that each of us know how to do sucessfully is to tell ourselves that we are bad. We gove over and over about what we should, could, would have done in any given situation. We re-hash the moments and remind ourselves how we have failed and are not as good as everyone else. Doesn't matter if it's relationship related or work related, we are all experts at finding what we didn't do! What happens next? We are mad at ourselves and depression sets in. Why do we do that? And how can you prevent that? The first thing is to learn how to love yourself. Yes, I said, "love yourself." How can anyone else love you if you can't even stand being around yourself? Good question, huh? Well, here are some basic steps that will help to better like yourself.
- STOP PICKING ON YOURSELF --- Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to second guess yourself. Accept yourself just exactly as you are. Everybody changes and when you criticize yourelf, the changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, the changes are positive.
- STOP SCARING YOURSELF --- Stop scaring yourself with your thoughts. It's a terrble way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is floating in the ocean in the Bahamas), and immediately switch your negative thoughts to pleasure thoughts.
- BE GENTLE AND KIND TO YOURSELF --- Be kind to yourself ( you would be to someone else). Be patient with yourself as you train yourelf to your new way of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
- PRAISE YOURSELF --- Praise builds up your inner spirit. Praise yourself as much as you can. Do tell yourself how well you are doing and don't second guess that praise.
- LOVE YOUR NEGATIVES --- What you say? Yes, acknowledge that you created these negatives to fullfill a need. Now let's find a new positive way to fulfill those needs. Release the old negative thoughts and patterns.
- LOOK IN THE MIRROR --- Look into the eyes of the person looking back at you. Forgive that person looking back at you in that mirror, Forgive those that you feel have hurt you. Your parents? Forgive them too.
- LOVE YOURSELF --- Beginning right now!! Do the best you can. It takes a few tries, but after a while you will see a subtle difference in how you view yourself and your life.
Susanne Beier, PhD., LPC, NCC, NCCC (2015)